In case you haven't gathered from my previous post, today wasn't a very good day at work.

I almost just walked out and said I wasn't coming back. The main reason behind this was that I haven't ever done a job like this before and I haven't had any real training for it. On my second day on the ward I was expected to care for patients on my own. Now I know that I've been shown what to do a few times but I didn't feel comfortable being alone with patients this early on.

From what I can gather, the ward sister thinks that I'm being shown how to do things by a "mentor" that she's assigned me to on the shift. In reality I keep getting left with other people doing things that they think I can do and when I explain I can't they get pissed off.

There is a guy who started the same day as me and has no experience either, but he's at the other end of the ward and they are showing him everything in detail and generally taking care of him, whereas I feel a bit neglected at my end.

I'm going to feel so stupid tomorrow if I go in and say that I don't feel comfortable being left alone with patients because it will be like taking a step backwards but it will only be my 3rd day for crying out loud!

Feeling very down about the whole thing to be honest. To top it all off I was feeling so so rough and really dizzy, yet no one noticed that I was rather pale and clammy (they notice when it happens to a patient though hehe). Plus I'm missing Le Boyfriend a lot and this job means I wont get to see him a whole lot because the shift pattern is so irregular it's untrue.

Let me get a (hopefully) good night's sleep and things will be better in the morning.